Healing the past isn’t just for those who are single, for those who have been divorced or for the ones who are married. We all have past pain. We’ve all been hurt, wounded and trodden on at different times in our lives. It’s just a fact of life and a part of our growth. However, just because we’ve been hurt in the past, doesn’t mean the same needs to happen in the future.

The past is an extraordinary thing

It can either be left in the past or it can influence our future. This isn’t by chance. Let me show you how it works.

We get hurt and feel a deep wound. It’s in our heart and is demoralizing. We feel worthless and so close ourselves off from feeling that type of pain again. The neural cortexes in our brain develop a self preservation mechanism by way of testing each situation. A little like dipping our toes in the water to see if it’s hot before we take the plunge.

The trigger may be as simple as a hand gesture that’s been made by someone in the past that’s hurt us and our brain signal’s “Alert, Alert!” We’re going to be hurt again. Automatically we physically recoil and close ourselves off to the imminent threat of pain.

We only need to be hurt once for our receptors to react. it’s a little like eating food that is too spicy, we tend to avoid it next time because our brain remembers what we went through.

 

So how does it repeat if we close ourselves off to the threat of pain?

It does this via numbing the senses. When we’ve been hurt, we either become hypersensitive as described above and avoid situations or we numb the emotions. Therefore the receptors are dulled. We’ve told them we don’t need them, so take a back seat and enjoy the view. It’s like we’ve given them Xanax to chill.

We think we’re in control here but we’re actually flying without a compass. When we dull our receptors, we dull them to everything. Therefore, we can’t figure out who is good for us and who isn’t. And because we still have the same patterns operating within, then we’re still attracting the same people into our lives. The same partners who are abusive.

So unresolved past pain either repels everybody or includes everybody, even those we don’t want, no matter how careful we think we are, because we no longer have our guidance system on board.

The ideal situation is to resolve the past, develop new patterns and move into loving, lasting relationships using our inner guidance system. It is possible to love again without being hurt. It is possible to have a relationship that is fulfilling, sensitive and loving. It’s also natural to have a relationship that is uplifting and supportive. Even if you haven’t had a great relationship in the past.

 

Change the sign on your back

It’s not only possible but imperative to develop new patterns and change that sign on your back so you attract loving, supportive relationships. We all deserve to feel loved and supported no matter who we are and what we do in life.

Loving relationships are created by design and not default. If you’d like to find out how to regain your power, I’ve written this just for you. Get your copy of 6 Dimensions of Healing.