10 Early Warning Signs Of A Relationship Breakdown
Both as individuals and as a couple we are diverse. We don’t get together because we are the same, but because we compliment each other. People bring different perspectives, traits and issues to a relationship. That’s not because we’re wanting to sabotage the relationship or make the other person change (even though there may be some of that), but because we don’t know any differently.
We Are All Different
What attracted you to your partner may have been strengths such as – great cooking, their sense of humor, good sex, getting on well with your family and friends – but that doesn’t mean we like their taste in music, enjoy the football or even play computer games.
It’s not because of our differences that we experience conflict in relationships, but because of our intolerances. There are always ways to handle conflict so that it doesn’t become destructive to either party. But when one or the other doesn’t want to find a solution, but to blame the other, we find a relationship breakdown imminent.
However, conflict isn’t the only cause of a relationship breakdown. When we have a partner who is narcissistic (a trendy name for a sociopath), it doesn’t matter how hard we try, we will never get it right. These partners have a vested interest in us not feeling good as it destabilizes any self-esteem that would separated us from their control. Separating us from family and friends because we’re told they aren’t good for us, is a major red flag, and one we should never make excuses for.
Relationships Can Become Stronger
Relationships can actually become stronger if partners can talk about differences and stresses as balanced human beings. That means actively listening, caring about another’s perspective and finding a solution. Conflict can be resolved and any serious matters dealt with in a caring manner. When we respect ourselves, we have respectful communication. We’re happy to compromise because it’s about us and not me or you.
However, frequent conflict indicates that all is not well with the relationship. Either one partner has heavy stress that they can’t relieve or share, or they are focused far away.
Conflict is merely a symptom. Agreeing not to discuss the underlying elephant in the room, may work for short-term peace but it’s not sustainable. The elephant will still be there.
Warning Signs Of A Relationship Breakdown
What are the 10 warning signs of a relationship breakdown?
- You spend more time apart. More than before.
- You argue about the same things, over and over again
- You are dissatisfied and looking for happiness
- Your expectations are unreasonable and exceptionally high
- You don’t find each other physically attractive anymore
- There is a loss of love and respect and one of you speaks of no longer being in love
- Arguments about the children are constant
- Someone has an addiction problem
- One of you takes up hobbies that don’t interest the other and separates you
- You often find yourself either looking for a shoulder to cry on or blaming the other
If you have some of these signs in your relationship then it’s time to decide whether you want to get help or to dissolve the partnership. There is nothing more destructive than holding on to a relationship that is toxic. And if left untethered, these signs will become nasty.
The warning signs aren’t about failure or not trying hard enough. They aren’t about being someone’s fault, they are natural signs of incompatibility.
There Are Always Choices
There are only two choices in this situation. Either take on some relationship counseling or dissolve the relationship. Caught early enough, you can prevent the spread of any emotional viral disease that can turn cancerous for many years to come. It may sound severe, but long, costly breakups take their toll on more than just finances.
Your kids deserve the best of you and the only way you can give them that is to feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel free and you deserve to attract a caring, loving relationship that supports and uplifts you. If this one doesn’t fill these needs, maybe it’s time to let it go
Gayle Maree has been transforming relationships for over 20 years. She has an intuitive power for dissolving past pain and has helped many people free themselves of debilitating past patterns. Her key courses are Leveraging Spirit™ and 6 Dimensions of Healing Mastermind.
Gayle Maree is a Spiritual Counselor, Mother, Entrepreneur and Eternal Optimist. She is also author of 6 Dimensions of Healing®.