One Sure Method of Eradicating Past Pain
How do you Let go of Past Pain?
So how do you let go of past pain? All that pain that feels like a knife that’s turned in your chest every time you think about your breakup? Your friends and family only stay sympathetic for a little while.
I mean they have an unpublished date that you need to be done complaining and moping around by. When you take longer than they can put up with, then you no longer get asked out to parties and fun times.
My name is Gayle Maree from and I’ve been a spiritual counselor for over 22 years, helping people create happy, lasting relationships.
There is an unspoken time frame from your friends and family, that you need to be ‘over it’ by a certain time. They say “It’s not like anybody has died and we’ve all been through it before”.
It Ignites the Embers of their Past Pain
Which is quite true. And that’s why they don’t want to listen to your pain. It ignites the embers their own. Everybody can relate to the pain of a breakup. Just think of it, 50% of all people in a broken relationship, leave somebody behind in tremendous pain. And that’s with just one busted relationship. But that’s 50% of every teen and every adult in the world. That’s billions of people we’re talking about.
I know it doesn’t make your breakup any less painful, it just puts it into perspective a little. Besides, you’re in really good company.
So just for you, below are a few revenge tales that I know of:
Tales of Revenge
“She cheated on me with my best friend, who unbeknownst to her has herpes. That was all the revenge I needed.” — Pauline
“He was terrible, and I was furious, so I shredded his passport. If he wasn’t going anywhere with me, he wasn’t going anywhere at all. Period.” — Anne
“The breakup wasn’t going well, and he wasn’t letting me get my stuff. When I was finally allowed in, I instructed my new boyfriend to take a leak all over my ex’s razor and toothbrush. Which he did.” — Kim
“I didn’t think I had a problem with my ex until I ran into him at a New Year’s Eve party. I left the party before him, realized it was snowing, and decided to take his shoes (which he left near the front door) with me.” — Tori
What can I say?
It’s ok to feel this way for as long as you want revenge, but what if you want to move on from revenge. Because revenge is only and, just like it’s brother anger, it’s not a very good master. Revenge attracts more things in your life to feel angry and vengeful about.
So what’s the solution?
When you’ve had enough, of feeling sick and tired, it’s probably time to build a waterfall. That’s right, you heard me, a waterfall.
A waterfall is a metaphor we use to describe a new pattern of thought.
How it works is that you always have emotional waterfalls running in your life. The more you give attention to a mood, the harder the waterfall flows which creates some pretty powerful momentum.
So this could be feeling angry, brought about by a relationship breakup, and the longer you feel angry, the more momentum the waterfall gathers. Waterfalls always begin as just a trickle falling over the cliff and form into a raging torrent that no amount of plugging will stop.
So how do you stop this waterfall of anger that torments you day and night? You don’t. That is you don’t need to.
What you do is create a new one. A new waterfall. This time it would be say, happiness. Reach for thoughts that feel a little better and a little better as often as you can until you’re in the vicinity of feeling happy. Then you stay there for as long as you can.
Past Pain demands your Attention
Now of course the already pounding waterfall of anger is going to demand your attention. But you gently bring your thoughts back to the new one, the one you’d prefer, looking for thoughts of relief that move you towards happiness.
Your happiness waterfall also begins as a trickle but as more of your attention is placed on this one, the other will begin to lessen. The momentum will cease and the noise of anger will eventually become a trickle rather than a raging torrent.
The key is where you place your focus. Anger or happiness. You must keep bringing it gently back towards feeling happy. In this way you build momentum and a raging happiness waterfall.
No Clearing, Cleansing or Saging
That’s it. No clearing or cleansing or saging. In fact, no amount of sage will get rid of the thoughts inside your own head. But the waterfall will. It will create a new pattern of thoughts that is one habit along the path to happiness.
Now take a gentle breath in and ahhhh, let out all the tension and stress. Breathe in the calm and peace of freedom and allow that waterfall of happiness to gently flow.
About Gayle Maree
Gayle believes that the story of everyone's relationship can be improved. Most people are not as happy and fulfilled as they’d like to be. She writes, thinks, and speaks about shedding limiting beliefs so that women can feel the freedom to shine.
Overcoming decades of limiting beliefs and anxiety was a catalyst for becoming a Spiritual Counselor over 20 years ago.
People are attracted to Gayle for the high energy, intuitive insights and deep wisdom; and for the powerful transformation, they gain through her programs.
Are you ready to close the door on the past and move forward with confidence to begin to love again?