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3 Steps to Reclaim your Self-Worth

reclaim your self-worth self-esteem

Your own Self-Worth is your Birthright

There was no baby born that wasn’t blessed with a self-esteem of worthiness. Just look at young kids and how confident they are on everything in life. From their insight and knowledge on how a butterfly sheds its cocoon to the squeals of delight when a worm wriggles in the palms of their hands. Their self-worth is a part of their self-discovery. They don’t ask for anybody’s permission to feel worthy and they aren’t concerned whether you agree with them or not. It’s raw unbridled self-worth.

Worthiness is an emotion you experience and it comes bundled with confidence, happiness, and great enthusiasm for life. Nobody can make you feel worthy and nobody can actually take it away either. It’s yours to choose whether you want to allow worthiness into your life or not. The rewards of choosing to allow your self-worth to grow and your self-esteem to flourish is that the world becomes your oyster. You become aligned with your dreams and life is great.

People will look at you and call you lucky!

Where did your Self-Worth go?

But something happens between childhood and adulthood that seems to rob you of your self-worth. Instead of being in awe and wonder at the world around you, it becomes a scary, dark, and foreboding place to live. And the scarier it feels, the more evidence you can find all around you to back up your belief. Your self-esteem has gone and you no longer believe that you are the one pulling the strings in your life. Low self-esteem comes hand in hand with insecurity and guilt. Therefore you approach life with a view that you are unworthy of love, joy, and happiness.

So where did this begin? Well, the details are different for everyone, but the path is very similar.  The slide from young and confident to older and unworthy can happen at any age but always involves other people. Either those that blamed you for something that happened or those that held expectations so high that you often failed. Then the slide continues as low self-esteem attracts situations that give you low self-worth.

That means you can be in a situation with a parent, a teacher, mentor, friend, or lover. There are many people, that when you expose your low self-worth, are willing to tell you what to do and how to live your life.

 Continued below

Nobody can Rob you of Your Self-Worth

Nobody can rob you of your self-worth but you can trade it for something else. For instance, if you think that somebody else knows what’s right for you better than you do.

Or if you want to please others so you go along with their suggestions on how to live your life. So where does your self-worth go? When you trade your inner knowledge, joy, and wisdom for the make-believe promises of somebody else, then your self-worth remains hidden to you. It’s invisible and out of touch to the person who feels unworthy.

You Can Reclaim Your Self-Worth

Although this process of hiding your self-esteem may have begun long ago, it’s now up to you to reclaim your self-worth. Nobody else can do that for you.

Because you were born worthy, you still are worthy, it’s deep down and the embers just need to be stirred for the fires of worthiness to reignite within you. Your feeling of worthiness can once again become dominant in your life, just as it was all those years ago when you squealed in delight at the worm squirming in the palms of your hands.

Your self-worth comes from deep within. You were born with an innate sense of freedom and self-worth so that you could express this in whatever you chose to do in life.

Your self-worth isn’t tied to your achievements, whether, they’re life achievements of self achievements. It’s only tied to your emotions, your mood.

High self-esteem isn’t the decision or the opinion of other people. It’s you judging yourself, whether that began from the suggestion of people in the past or from past situations. But now is the time to reclaim your confidence and become filled with self-worth. Reclaim your worthiness.

How do you Measure Self-Worth or Worthiness?

A friend of mine, Lesley was relating a story of worthiness.

“He was the type of person who would go every week to drink with friends and eat their food.” When the small social group challenged him as to why he didn’t reciprocate and buy food and drink to share, he never returned to the group. Not long after his disappearance, they heard he had won a major lotto draw. Lesley just couldn’t understand how someone who was seemingly there only to take, could now be receiving so much by winning lotto. She felt it just wasn’t fair.

Lesley was under the illusion, like most people, that fairness was judged by how deserving one seemed to be, based on life achievements and self achievement. This was the wisdom of the opinion of others and it’s very common. But the Universe doesn’t judge self-worth the same way you do. The Universe provides self-esteem to those who feel deserving themselves. Those who feel worthy. In other words, it doesn’t matter whether somebody else thinks you are worthy or not, it’s up to you to allow your self-worth to expand and not limit it to other’s opinions.

Which is precisely what happens with low self-esteem. You limit your self-worth to fit other’s opinions. Yet, their opinions are determined by your beliefs, which most likely includes that somebody else knows your life better than you do. You can see it becomes a cycle of low self-esteem and very little self-worth.

 

Key to Reclaiming your Self-Worth

What you’re doing right now is a pattern. It took practice to develop it and it will take practice to change it permanently. It typically takes 21 days to establish a new pattern but it’s worth it. Because the alternative is always more of the same. More of the same insecurity, unworthiness and low self-esteem. Feeling unlucky rather than lucky.

The key to reclaiming your self-worth is through your mood. Your mood is the constant stream of emotions you experience throughout the day. And the influence of your mood is such that it creates your present, recovers the past and determines your future. Therefore, to reclaim your self-worth there are 3 steps.

 3 Steps to Practice for 21 Days

  1. Choose thoughts that are uplifting – Monitor your thoughts, notice how they change throughout the day and what your corresponding mood is is in response to your thoughts.
  2. Change your mood. When you notice yourself frowning then your mood is moving in a direction of low self-worth. When you’re smiling, you’re moving in the direction of feeling great. That’s the direction of high self-esteem.
  3. Notice what is working. When you have a low self-esteem you’ll notice what’s not working, what’s going wrong and what you don’t like about what’s happening in the world. This process becomes a habit and attracts more things in your life that you don’t like. So consciously decide to look for what is working and this too will become a habit. A habit of happiness.

No matter what’s gone before or what’s happened in the past, you can reclaim your self-worth. In fact, you are the only one who can, because it’s waiting there and it’s yours to claim.

 

Develop your self-esteem further by joining the Mood Mastery Quickstart. It’s reclaiming your self-worth with confidence and creating a future you love. Click below.

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Gayle Maree

Who am I?

I’m Gayle Maree, creator of Spiritual-Soulmate, author, mother of 7 and relationships counselor for over 23 years.

Someone once told me (a well-respected mentor) that people need “experts” to find love in their life… and I didn’t believe them.

I thought everybody could do it on their own. I mean, I did. I figured out what didn’t work in my first marriage and then I changed it. Actually, I changed me.

Not because I was trying to impress others or I had something to prove to people who thought I was lousy at relationships, but because there were aspects of me that I didn’t like. I wanted improvements.

And I knew that if I didn’t make changes I could expect more of the same types of relationships. So, I set about what would be a continuous, amazing journey.

My second marriage has been nearly 30 years now and we still work on it, but it’s not the relationship that needs the work, it’s us. It’s me.

Now it’s your turn

This is the same path I used to make the changes that led to a happy. loving relationship and you can use it to find success in love too.

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